Bread of Life

(I wrote this post two days ago, obviously in quite a reflective mood.  Today, I re-read it and it's a little deep and I am tempted to delete it.  But maybe a year or two from now, I will be glad I put it in writing.  Read on if you like, but don't feel that you must.  -NS)

I was reading a lesson this morning about the hungry crowd in John 6.  Jesus provided for a tremendous crowd with a little boy's lunch of five loaves and two fish.  Common story, heard it as a child, studied it as a teenager, taught it to kids at VBS.  (I remember wondering as a kid how God multiplied the lunch.  Did he keep replacing fish in the bottom of the basket and every time the disciples reached in, there was always plenty?  I have also wondered if the phenomenon was noticeable or did the new fish and bread just appear quietly?  Hmm.)  This time reading through the scripture, it was through the lens of adoption.  

Then Max Lucado smacked me with this question, "What can we learn from Philip's response?  What was the larger obstacle for Philip:  the lack of food or the costs involved in feeding such a large crowd?"

I couldn't help but ask myself the same question rephrased, "What is the larger obstacle:  the great number of orphans or the costs in providing for so many children?"

or

"What is the larger obstacle:  the situation itself, or the fear that Jesus will not provide for the situation?"

Some situations seem so impossible, so out of reach.  Some days as a mom I question myself if I will be a good mom to three or four kids when I struggle with two at times.  Jesus knew He would provide lunch for the crowd even before He asked Philip about it.  Jesus knows we will face obstacles that appear to have no solutions and Jesus wants to provide.

When we were contemplating adoption and the equation kept coming up short in timing and resources, Jesus knew and He wanted to provide.  I look back at all that we struggled with to come to the decision to adopt.  At times we were looking to ourselves to provide for an adoption, much like Philip.  And yet God provided in His perfect time, giving a greater amount of glory to Him than if we had attempted this on our own strength and resources.  His glory is our prayer.  

From Max's book In the Eye of the Storm he writes about this passage in John:

"Don't miss the contrasting views.  When Jesus saw the people, he saw an opportunity to love and affirm value.  When the disciples saw the people they saw thousands of problems.

Also, don't miss the irony.  In the midst of a bakery --- in the presence of the Eternal Baker --- they tell the "Bread of Life" that there is no bread.

How silly we must appear to God.

Here's where Jesus should have given up.  This is the point in the pressure-packed day where Jesus should have exploded.  The sorrow, the life threats, the exuberance, the crowds, the interruptions, the demands, and now this.  His own disciples can't do what he asks them.  In front of five thousand men, they let him down.

"Beam me up, Father," should have been Jesus' next words.  But they aren't.  Instead he inquires, "How many loaves do you have?"

The disciples bring him a little boy's lunch.  A lunch pail becomes a banquet, and all are fed.  No word of reprimand is given.  No furrowed brow of anger is seen.  No "I-told-you-so" speech is delivered.  The same compassion Jesus extends to the crowd is extended to his friends." 

Forgive me, Jesus, when I tell you through my thoughts and actions that there is no bread and yet you are preparing a banquet.

-NS