We Pray to the Same God

Long Post Warning!

I have a to-do list a mile long, school is canceled tomorrow because of today's ice storm, the dog needs to be fed, but all I really want to do is put into writing what happened this morning.

For a little background: When we started the adoption process last June we saw a little boy on Gladney's Bright Futures page. Even though Gladney is changing some things about older child adoptions, previously they posted several pictures of older Ethiopian children on their site. During one of initial phone calls with Gladney, we were even given a little bit of this boy's information. He was/is a doll! The funny thing was, I was not drawn to him like I expected to be. I think we even pictured ourselves adopting a son, but something in my heart paused, not allowing my feelings to grow for this sweet thing. It really puzzled me, because this was totally out of character for me. We knew it would be several months before we were approved, so we chose to keep this little guy in mind and just see what happened.

Fast-forward to November. We were nearing wait list status and still had this eight year old boy on our minds. Not knowing if we were to pursue his adoption or not, we decided to call our caseworker and see if he was still available. If he wasn't, then that would answer our question. I sent Mary an email inquiring on a Thursday afternoon. I got an email from her on Friday and she asked if we could visit by phone the following Tuesday. Ugh! I would have to wait a whole weekend to find our answer!

Mary called on Tuesday and I proceeded to ask her about the sweet boy. She said she had a little something different she wanted to discuss. Because older children are harder to place she had an unusual circumstance. She continued by saying that three siblings were available and would we be interested? I was stunned. My immediate, down deep reaction was, "Yes!" But of course, I had to call Dustin. I thought I knew what his response would be, but I certainly had to ask him first. She was only able to share the gender and ages and other than that we would have to wait the normal time frame to be offered an official referral. Our homestudy only approved us for one or two children, so we would have to re-do some of our paperwork if we wanted to pursue the three siblings. If we were not interested in adopting three children, then we could continue as planned.

Dustin's immediate "yes" response confirmed what I felt in my heart. Our paperwork was updated for three children and then we had to just wait. We were officially on the waitlist on January 7th. On January 21st, Dustin and I were getting in bed and were talking how long we thought the wait would be before we could find out more information about the siblings. I told Dustin I would give it until the middle of March before I would start "harassing" Mary for information!

To our total surprise, Mary called the next day with the referral and we finally got to see three beautiful faces, Y, M and H. We knew immediately that these were the children God had planned for us. I realized why I had the pause in my heart for the 8 year old boy. While I pray a family scoops him up, I knew the siblings were the reason God had not allowed my heart to fall for him.

Our last post announced our referral and we have been overwhelmed by comments on the blog, on facebook, by email and phone calls. The adoption blog community is truly amazing! One of the first comments came from coffeemom. She thought she may have met the twins when she was in Ethiopia last May adopting her sweet Gabriel. I sent her our referral picture to see if she recognized them. Yep, she had fallen for the twins and shared several photos with us! What a blessing. And since I hate filing through a mass of photos, I thought she was such an angel to offer to do this for us. Coffeemom sent the pictures in a few separate emails, but it looked as if I didn't receive all that she sent. I was happy nonetheless and didn't dare want to be presumptuous and ask, "Was that all?" So I didn't. At least not for two days.

Then I got to thinking. If these are some of the only pictures we will have of the kids before they are adopted, it is o.k. to ask. And coffeemom, being an adoptive mother herself, will surely understand. So I sent an email last night asking if she had originally sent more than the four emails I received last week.

I opened my email this morning, and sure enough, there were three more emails with pictures that she sent, but for some reason didn't get to me. And one of those emails included coffeemom writing about meeting Y, M and H and how she fell for the kids (not realizing they were siblings) and especially fond of Y. In fact, coffeemom was so taken with Y that she inquired about her last June (the same month we started the adoption process) to she if she was available. When she found out that Y had two siblings, coffeemom said she was heartbroken that they could not adopt three more kids. She began praying for the kids, wondering if anyone would ever adopt three older siblings.

Looking back, I believe God was orchestrating details and events that would bring Y, M and H to our family. There was a reason why I didn't become emotionally attached to the first little boy last June. God was preparing our hearts for these sibilings. Coffeemom was praying for them. We were praying for our children that we didn't know yet. We were praying for God to show us if we were to adopt a little boy, or did He have other plans for us? Had I hesitated to ask for the remaining pictures from coffeemom, I don't think I would have ever known this part of the story. And coffeemom would have thought I received the emails and didn't comment. So glad I asked!

I expressed my surprise to someone the other day about how God showed Himself in a situation. My friend told me, "Honey, why are you so surprised? We pray to the same God!"

I was reminded of these words today when this story unfolded. We pray to the same God and He is Wonderful. I thank Him for allowing us to see glimpses of His hand in our lives and in our adoption process.

"I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out - plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for." Jeremiah 29:11 (MSG)

Referral!

We were shocked to receive a phone call from Mary this evening with our referral! We've been on the phone all evening with family sharing information and pictures of three beautiful children that stole our hearts with the first picture. Yes, three. Two sweet twin girls who recently turned seven and their four year old little brother.

Dustin and I have said many times that had we started this journey thinking we would adopt three children, we never would have had the nerve to start. God has given all of this to us in baby steps and we feel His love and care in matching these three children with our family. We are humbled at the thought of becoming their parents.

They have the sweetest smiles and our little guy has big, beautiful brown eyes. They are precious. Simply precious.

The Love of a Sister

Came across this on another blog this evening, and as heart breaking as it is, I wanted to post it here also:

...To Love Them

A quick post about dinner last night at the Queen of Sheba Restaurant.  We had such a great time (so fun that I forgot to take any pictures!)  Adoptive families gathered to welcome home sweet Eli.  He is such a beautiful baby.  There were tons of families that came, many that I only know of through blogs, so it was great to actually meet moms, dads and kids.  The restaurant was so busy that extra help was called in to serve tables.  A young man (H.)  and his wife helped as waiters.  H. easily engaged us in conversation and asked about our family.  We learned that he was adopted from Ethiopia when he was 14.  When we told him we were adopting, we asked if there was one thing he could share with us as an adoptee that would help our kids.  He praised his mom for driving hours to the nearest Ethiopian restaurant, in addition to other things, to help him and his brothers stay connected with their heritage while they were growing up.  He said keeping their culture alive was very important.  The second thing he said was, "To love them."  He assured us that the adoption process and transition is not easy, parents make mistakes, but adoption is good and God is faithful.  H. said that when he tells people he is from Africa, the first things that usually come to a person's mind is desert and starving kids.  He said while there are deserts and there are starving children, there is still so much more to his beautiful country.  He gave Dustin and me good things to think about and discuss as we prepare for the future. (I would love to share more of H.'s story, but I didn't ask his permission and don't want to assume that it is o.k.  He and his wife were absolutely delightful and shined the love of God with genuineness and beautiful transparency.)

Delicious food, wonderful company and lots of new friends.  Thank you God!

We're on the Wait List!

We were very excited to get the email today from Mary telling us we are officially on the wait list.  Woo Hoo!  The kids squealed when they read the title of Mary's email.  Sage ran out the door to tell Dustin.

We are approved for up to three children and have requested either gender between the ages of 4 and 8.  Sage is nine and it is recommended that we stay in birth order AND we so do not want to do diapers again.  Don't get me wrong, we LOVED the toddler stage... just don't want to do it again.  

Thank you, God, for patience during the paper chase and especially for the patience needed during the coming months...

Merry Ethiopian Christmas

Ethiopia is one of the oldest nations in Africa. It still follows the ancient Julian calendar, so Ethiopians celebrate Christmas on January 7. The Ethiopian Orthodox Church's celebration of Christ's birth is called Ganna. It is a day when families attend church.

After returning home from NM, we had a wonderful Christmas celebration with Dustin's family.  Dustin's sister and brother-in-law have four children, and our kids have a ball when they all get together.  Can't imagine what it might be like next year!

Dustin's Mom and Dad

Dustin's Sister and Her Family

Papa and Mema with their Six Grandchildren

My mother-in-law is a great cook and always makes a special Christmas dinner followed by a delicious dessert or two.  This year was chocolate tarts and homemade cream puffs with a raspberry cream filling.  Yum!

Christmas, Snow & I-171H

We spent part of our Christmas break in New Mexico and it was beautiful!  The snow made everything feel clean and pure as if everything were right in the world.  (The snow was deep enough that we didn't have to see the yucky, muddy slushy snow--just the sparkling white stuff.)  One afternoon when we were all sitting in the snow preparing to take a group picture, nine deer came down the path near our cars and cabins and walked toward us.  It was a great few minutes admiring the gentle animals.

Our little cabin was perched on the side of a hill and offered a gorgeous view from the front porch.  Snow skiing was great, but the sledding was a little painful on the egos.  A few of us ended up with bruises in all sorts of places!

We returned home last night to find our USCIS Form I-171H in the mailbox!  Hooray!  I quickly got it notarized and sent off to Kate at KBS Dossiers today.  Hopefully we are officially on the waiting list in the next few days.

Hoping each of you had a wonderful Christmas.  Happy New Year!

Two Bits of Info to Share

I read a recent post by Tom Davis and thought I would share it.  You can read it here or here:

What do you get an orphan for Christmas?

In the U.S., we ask the question, "What do you get for the person who has everything?"  Let's turn that around... "What do you get the child who has nothing?"

At first, you might think of basic necessities like food or clothing.  Perhaps you'd even think about toys or a bike.

Over the past decade of working with children who have less than nothing, I can tell you this:  What an orphan wants for Christmas is for another human being to express the lavish, extravagant, and unconditional love of Jesus to them.  They want--like all children do--to know that they are special and chosen and loved.

Would you like to give this gift?

I have seen thousands of orphans lives transformed through relationships built with their U.S. sponsor.  When you give yourself to a child, it is something unique and personal.  It does not need to be shared with others.  And it is cherished above all other gifts I have seen.

I've also watched thousands of sponsors transformed into the hands and feet of Jesus--through prayer, letter writing, short-term missions, and orphan advocacy.

It's more than sponsorship.  It's how you give the gift of yourself and your family's love to a child who longs to know what it feels like to be loved.

If you would like to start this process with me and Children's HopeChest.  Go to this link for more information and to sign-up online.

It will be the best Christmas present you give this year.

Also, we were so excited to learn that our friends, the Bottomlys, wrote a book that will be published in March.  How cool is that?!  The title of their book is "From Ashes to Africa."  More information on the book here.  Amy's blog about their adoption of Silas offered tons of information and insight when we were in the decision making process.  Can't wait to get a copy of the book!

Welcome Eli!

After months and months of waiting, the Winters passed court!  Tons of us in the adoption blog world were refreshing our computers every so often until the good news was posted yesterday.  Introducing Eli....

Thankfulness Tag

Joy tagged me with five reasons to be thankful.  So, here goes:

1.  My sweet husband who not only tolerates my many emotions, but loves me regardless.  We make a pretty cool team and I am so thankful he asked me to marry him on a summer evening in 1991.

2.  My great kids!  Madison and Sage show me everyday what God's unconditional love looks like.  Having them makes me want to be better tomorrow than I am today, each day.

3.  My family.  Each person in my family has helped shape me and mold me at some point along the way.  I am so very thankful that God placed me into the family that He did, for each person that makes up the very colorful and wonderful family that I am a part of.

4.  My friends.  One in particular.  How she saw something in me when there wasn't much to see.  How she always encourages me and mentors me and exemplifies a truly godly woman, wife and mother.  She always brings out the best in me.  She is a mom to five outstanding kids that radiate God's love in so many ways and places.  I thank God for friendships.

5.  Hope.  I am so thankful for hope.  I am so thankful for the hope that Jesus placed into my heart that someday I get to worship him face to face in spirit and in truth.  I am so thankful for the hope that this life, with all of its joy and sorrow, isn't as good as it gets.  The best is yet to come.

6.  The part of our family that lives in Ethiopia right now.  I thank God for the child/children God has planned for our family.

I am tagging:

Lee

Sarah

Shala

Sarah

Melodie

Happy Thanksgiving!

Meet "Our Kids"

Russ Weir put this video together of the kids at Kebebtsehay Orphanage in Ethiopia that Red Letters Campaign is sponsoring.  For those of you who have read some of my previous posts, this is it!  This is what it is all about.  Enjoy their smiles!  And there are still plenty of kids to sponsor if you are interested.

Rise Expected in Ethiopia Orphans

Found this article.  Hard to picture Sage or Madison as the head of a household, but by God's grace they were born in the U.S. and not in Ethiopia.  225,000 households run by children by 2010?!?

Ethiopia to see sharp rise in orphans running households:  NGO

Nov 7, 2008

ADDIS ABABA (AFP) - Ethiopia will by 2010 see a four-fold increase in the number of orphaned children aged between nine and 19 who are heading families due to AIDS, poverty and conflict, a local NGO said on Friday.

Some 225,000 households will be run by children, up from 77,000 in 2005, Addis Ababa-based African Child Policy Forum (ACPF) said in a report.

"This is going to be an explosive problem," said Assefa Bequele, the agency's director.

"In some households, the oldest child is also the principal care-giver to a terminally-ill parent," said the report.  

Ethiopia is one of the world's poorest countries.  The government estimates that 1.5 million Ethiopians are infected with HIV, while the World Health Organization says nearly 2.8 million are infected.

More Sponsorship Info

Here's a new video from Children's Hope Chest of their recent trip to Ethiopia. Check here for more information on sponsorship.

Sponsorship Info

Anyone interested in sponsoring an orphan in Ethiopia?  Anyone interested in visiting your sponsored child on a yearly trip with a community of people also sponsoring orphans in the same orphanage?  How cool does that sound?

I wrote a little about it here, but late-breaking details at Amy's blog!  Go take a look and see if this is something where God would call you to jump in and be involved!

We are pumped!  Not only are we excited about adding to our family by way of Ethiopian adoption, we are so happy to connect to other children who will grow up in Ethiopia and be a part of loving them and serving them through sponsorship.

Update:  And go take a look at Joy's post on sponsorship.  I love the way she shares on this same topic!

Bad Basketball Behavior

Madison had a basketball game this afternoon.  I saw something at her game today that made me cringe as a mom.

The opposing team's coach was young, possibly his first teaching job out of college.  During the first half of the game (when his team was ahead) he became frustrated at his players.  Remember, they are sixth grade girls around the ages of 11 and 12.  The coach got mad, stood up from his chair on the sidelines, turned around and raised his clipboard over his head and slammed it on the chair.  I was appalled.

A few minutes later was a break between quarters.  He gathered his players around him on the side of the court and proceeded to scream at them, with gestures and hand motions to match.  I could tell he was screaming because I could hear him from where I was sitting on the opposite side of the gym among all the commotion of the crowd.

Later in the game he threw his pen down with enough force to shatter it across part of the gym floor.

Am I over-reacting here?  I don't really like to see high school coaches act like this, but their kids have at least had some experience playing the game.  These are young girls just learning how to make plays and work together as a team!  What could they have possibly done wrong to warrant such extreme and outrageous behavior from their coach?

So, I wrote a letter to his principal.  It was a polite letter and stated the facts of the young man's behavior.  The goal of my letter was not to criticize as much as it was to encourage this young educator to mature in his coaching skills and choose more age-appropriate behavior.  Personally, I would have loved to have written a really nasty letter, but refrained because I really and truly want this young man to become a good coach, a good teacher and a good mentor to his students.  

I realize the principal may throw my letter into file #13, but at least I tried.

I Voted

The kids' classes held mock elections this week.  Sage wore a VOTE NOW t-shirt to school today that we bought at Old Navy for $1.  During our morning carpool, all kids were voicing their opinion on how today's election would end.  Madison said is was not fair that kids didn't get to vote.  I assured her that she will be 18 soon enough!  Everywhere I went today, conversations were buzzing with anticipation of the vote.  I like that word... vote.  

And as our kids headed off to bed, we told them how we will support, honor, uphold, respect and pray for our new president-elect.  Our vote did not result in a win for our candidate, but nonetheless, we still exercised our right to vote.   And that is a precious thing.  I hope our kids always know what a honor and privilege we have as U.S. citizens to be a part of the democratic process.  We are so thankful to have been born in a country where we choose our leaders.  We are so thankful to live in the United States of America.

Kolfe Orphanage, Addis Ababa

Tom Davis' most recent blog post is about Kolfe Orphanage in Addis Ababa, home to about 130 boys .  Many families adopting through Gladney visit orphanages while in Ethiopia and I have heard this particular orphanage mentioned several times.  However, I had no idea the extent of poverty that these young men experience daily.  Please read more about Kolfe and their immediate needs on Tom's blog.

In addition, I found this video with a few more pictures of Kolfe.

Nachos Anyone?

Hey, Madison here. When you saw the pictures you were probably thinking what the heck do they do with that thing, plow the fields !?!? Ha Ha Ha Just kidding :)  Our neighbors own the donkey that lives in the pasture across the road. Her name is Nacho.  We're not sure where her name came from, but my two year old cousin seems to like it.  My cousin can't quite pronounce her words right sometimes and when she says Nacho it comes out "Na-noche.''  It is pretty funny.  Nacho will come up to the fence and start braying until someone hears her and comes to give her a treat.  Luckily I saw her tonight before she started that honkin noise of hers. So I just went inside and got some carrots for her. One thing that is really weird about Nacho is that she LOVES bread.

Red Letters

Dustin and I recently read Red Letters by Tom Davis. Powerful book. One of the quotes that I underlined in the book is from an eighteenth-century English philosopher named Edmund Burke. He said, "The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men (and women) to do nothing."  I hope to read his book Fields of the Fatherless next.  (My current read is The Connected Child.)

Amy Bottomly's recent post gives information about the opportunity to sponsor kids in Ethiopia through Tom Davis' organization Children's Hope Chest.  Tom recently returned from a trip to Ethiopia where they were assessing orphanages to see where they can come alongside and support the orphanages and the orphans individually.

Amazing Song, Amazing Singer

This video makes me smile and I hope it does the same for you! Dustin's aunt sang this song at our wedding 16 years ago. I loved it then and I love it now.