1. Thank You #1: A huge shout out to those of you who have shared pictures and even video (thank you Rebecca!) of our kids! They are priceless. It is a huge encouragement to me to do the same for other families when we get back. I really want to re-read all of our comments and send individual thank-you through comments on each of your blogs. I hope I find the time to do it because we really do thank you for taking a few moments to comment.
2. Travel Advice: Any travel advice from you seasoned adoptive parents? What did you forget to take with you to ET that you really wished you had? I have a pretty good packing list, but I know that in the excitement of the next few weeks I will miss something that seems little but could be of huge help on the trip. How did you survive the grueling trip home with your children? It looks like we are staying at the New Flower Guesthouse. Has anyone stayed there?
3. Thank You #2: I entered the blog world wanting to keep our extended family up to date on our adoption and journal a little bit for Yeabsira, Meserat and Haileb. I intended to stay rather anonymous out on the web, never really intending to become a blog stalker, to network with other families or even create amazing friendships with people I may never meet face to face. And yet is has happened, and more! I had read other's blog about their thankfulness about the adoption blog community and thought, "Oh, that's nice." Wow! I get it now! You guys are amazing! Jesus has taught me sweet little lessons through you all and I am so thankful! And as I said before 'Thank You' doesn't seem to express our appreciate and thankfulness for the support we have received. I never thought we would feel such love and caring as we watched our inbox fill up with post comments and emails as well as sweet comments from FB'ers. We are so thankful to share this road with so many others. It makes the tasks ahead feel so much less daunting. While we have read some really great adoption books, the blog community is such a source of support and encouragement. Sometimes it is hard to ask for help, but for the emotional health of our family, I will certainly look to many of you AP's who have experience and not attempt to go it alone.
4. Family Bonding: Last question... we've been encouraged by many to "hibernate" for a period of time upon our return home. While I know children and situations vary greatly (in our case - older child adoption of three kids), how long did it take for you to begin going in public and having visitors into your home?
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12 comments:
My ABSOLUTE pleasure to share the pictures and video with you! I can't tell you how much I have been beaming these past couple of days knowing about your family. It is always nice to see the pictures of the kids after successful court dates. But to have spent so much time with your kids, to have had a chance to meet and visit with you, and to delight in knowing that you belong to each other - such a blessing!!! Thanks for letting me be a small part of it.
Rebecca
You need to disappear for a few months....sorry to tell you but you will be glad you did!
You have to "marry" all your personalities and teach them what it is like to have a family and you can't do that when there are others around...it is tough, but worth all the effort.
You will be great at it Nikki!
Kristine
I don't know about the hibernate thing because we FAILED at any of that with Silas.... lessons were learned and he was a baby not yet talking! We had family in town and all of them staying at our house upon our return... all of them fighting to hold Silas, change Silas, feed Silas.... phew, it was TOO TOO much. I just cried....I didn't do a good job at preparing the family for the boundaries I needed.
Annnyway, you guys will be amazing!!! I don't know how long you will hibernate, but I can't wait to meet your newest three and see you all together! :)
CONGRATULATIONS!!! Wow... 3!! That's wonderful!! Just here trying to catch up on your story. We thought this would be different because of the ages of our kids (15,16 & 17)... but found even they needed it. They've been here 7 months and we'll talk about something we did when they were here week 2 or 3 and they don't remember it. Now I realize they were just trying to take in their new lives, new family, new culture, new everything. Our life has been simplified and as scheduled as we can so they know what to expect. You'll do great and learn lots on the way :)
Wow.....congrats on passing court. Your kiddos are precious!!!!!
Hey Snow Family,
I haven't adopted from Ethopia but thought I would weigh in on your hibernation question, just from my experience with ESL students. I think the suggestion of 2 months is good. That will be about the time your kids go back to school. I also know that you are intelligent folks. You are going to be able to tell when your kids are ready for more than just you all. Don't be afraid to set boundaries with family/friends even when you start allowing those meetings. If you are in control of who/when your kids experience new folks then your kids will feel secure. You've done a GREAT job with Madison and Sage. You are going to do a GREAT job with your new precious ones. :-)
Our prayers will be to ease any anxiety you have and for the Lord to give you the wisdom needed as you continue this journey.
One more thing....Don't forget your sunscreen!!
Love,
The Cord Urtons
Congratulations! On your hibernating question: Our situation is completely different because we adopted a 9 month old and have no other children. We didn't allow anyone inside our home for the first two weeks. We didn't take her outside of the home, either (with the exception of one quick trip to the store). All visiting after the two week mark was done in our home. Others have just started to hold her (we've been home since the middle of May) only for a few minutes and then give her back to either me or my husband saying, "Here's your Mommy/Daddy!". We plan to do this for an additional couple of weeks then others can hold her for longer periods. We will meet all of her needs for months. You will likely get a sense once you're with the child/children as to how they are doing and when the time seems right to do certain things. If you're interested, we posted a letter to family and friends on our blog that explained all of this. Feel free to take a look: www.vergauwens.blogspot.com. I think it was a post around April 21st or so where we talked about cocooning once home. Again, congrats!!
We just got back into town and I am so thrilled to see your little ones and know they are officially yours!!! God is so good. They are absolutely sweet and beautiful children. Can't wait to meet them and see you all again.
Mark and Dawn Davis
First of all, congratulations! And, I had to post on your mention of reading back through your comments, I was just doing that this evening on our own blog and getting all misty-eyed at some of the wonderfully supportive things people have said to us, some from people we know personally, and some from people we only know through blog land. It's incredibly heart-warming to go back and read encouraging words from months ago - some really beautiful words that are so comforting even now in the process... Many blessings to your all new family!
Nicki,
Sorry, I just saw the question you left on my last post. We stayed at the Ethiocomfort Guesthouse. We were very happy there. The lady, Tsebay, who runs it is a wonderful hostess. It was only 35 Euros which comes out to about 50 bucks I think.
Hibernating, good term. I agree with wolfemom that the kids are overwhelmed and won't even remember fun things you may try to plan those first months. But, on the other hand, although we lived pretty simply, we did go to church weekly, from week 2, just having the kids sit with us, did go to dinner, did have friends/family over, go to their homes. For us the main thing we didn't do was allow others to hug, touch, hold the kids for a good 2-3 months. We did ALL the caregiving, and that means Farmboy and me. We didn't even allow our older children to take care of their needs, like getting juice, giving them a hug if they got hurt, etc. I think that was key for us, this solidified in their minds that we were the parents and no one else.
Again I agree with another writer, you will be able to sense when you can start coming more out of hibernation, because you are already thinking about these things.
Congrats!!!!
Oh, and if you are interested in taking any pictures.....well, we would love a couple of our little one. Here's my email in case you are interested. 10feetdiep@sbcglobal.net, or you can link to our email from our blog.
You must be so excited!!
We stayed in another guest house, but as soon as we got there we went to the grocery store and stocked up on boxed milk, breakfast cereal and water and I was glad we did. It made the days a lot easier if everyone started off with breakfast at the guesthouse.
Also I brought dried fruit and nuts in my purse everywhere I went. We often ended up further from a snack than expected.
We talked about trying to "hybernate" but didn't end up doing it. There were so many people to meet and places to go. Also my kids seemed more comfortable in a crowd/party. When we did have time alone, they would ask where everyone else went. 8)
Enjoy it and I can't wait to meet your kiddos!!
Lisa Holliday
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